Disclaimer. I talk about lots of binaries here: mainly, the sick-well binary and the disabled-nondisabled binary, but also a couple more. These binaries that are distinctly different, yet have a fair amount of overlap. I don’t go deeply into the differences between all of these concepts here - but if you’re interested in that, leave a comment and my nervous system will consider it :)

I think a lot about disability through a dynamic lens. I don’t mean that the lens itself is dynamic; rather, I see disability as inherently dynamic…in large part because experiencing life as a human being is itself a dynamic, ever-changing experience.

After all, change is the only constant. Your access needs change over the course of your life and your days. Even people who are healthy, nondisabled, or otherwise “well” have access needs that change over time. And access needs shift with permanent disability, too. We all have access needs, and they are rarely completely unchanging. That’s what it means to be alive.

The myth

The myth is that you’re always either sick or you’re well. Or: you are generally well, then sometimes you get sick (i.e. with a cold), then you eventually get better. Relatedly, the disabled-nondisabled binary refers to the assumption (myth) that you’re either disabled or you’re not.

The harm

There’s a huge problem with mental models like these. And this problem crops up in all sorts of other binaries - so while I’m explaining this problem by using the sick-well binary, this exists as a larger pattern.

The problem is that there is no in-between space. Under the sick-well model, there is no room for anything other than those two options. There’s no room for chronic illness, no room for dynamic disability, no room for invisible conditions. No room for the inherently dynamic nature of life itself.

This model - this fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to be alive - leads to a lot of needless pain and suffering. If you’re one of the seemingly-few (but truly common) people who get sick and then don’t get back to 100%, understanding these experiences through a binary like this can leave you feeling completely unmoored.

Suddenly, your mental model (of sick vs. well) doesn’t leave any space for you. Your body isn’t behaving in the way we’re taught to expect. These two binaries can combine into a bigger, more powerful binary - the final boss - the Good Body-Bad Body binary. Since you didn’t get well, you place your body into the “bad” box.

Side Note

Don’t even get me started on the diagnosed-undiagnosed binary. Being unwell with no diagnosis, told that you are probably fine, leads to a mental state of thinking-you’re-well but not being so. When you are mentally placing yourself in the “bad body” box without realizing it, you can subconsciously push yourself too hard, trying to act like you’re well, and gaslight yourself about the symptoms you’re experiencing. With the underlying assumption: that if you just work hard enough at being well, you’ll earn a good body again.

In my eyes, this tendency to push oneself far past the boundaries a body might be setting for yourself - and the privileges involved in being able to actually slow down and rest - are huge pieces of evidence in the question of who gets long covid and who doesn’t.

Dynamic Disability

A dynamic disability is when you’re disabled by something sometimes, and not other times. A good example of this is chronic migraines: sometimes, you can feel perfectly fine. Other times, you’re disabled by symptoms - maybe you can’t even look at a screen or have the lights on. Or maybe you’re in the prodromal or postdromal phase of a migraine with other symptoms disabling you.

Either way, there are times when your access needs require you to restrict your activities, and other times during which you can engage relatively effortlessly! This isn’t unique to migraines, and it’s also not unique to having a chronic illness or disability. The difference with disability is that the differences between those times can be more noticeable, and the external expectations for us more rigid.

We need more realistic collective understandings of what it means to have a body and be alive in this world. We need models that are more nuanced than simple binaries. So much harm comes without this. We need to accept and talk about what wellness even means, and better acknowledge that sickness, chronic illness, disability, and death are just natural parts of being in this world. I’m not saying we shouldn’t want cures - just that these experiences should not just be swept away. We have a lot to learn from them.

PS: interestingly, the word “dynamic” is borrowed from Greek dynamikós “powerful, efficacious,” from dýnamis “power, strength, capability,” or “to be able, have the strength or capability (to do something).” Which makes placing it next to the term disability particularly apt, imo.